Illustration by Seymour Chwast

“You rock!”

“Sara can’t even put down her crackberry at the dinner table.”

“Will you google directions to the store?”

“The band’s drummer is tatted out, head to toe.”

“Tim cruised Main Street, flossin’ his new wheels.”

“Omigod, Uncle Jim just friended me on Facebook.”

“Our friendhsip jumped the shark when you forgot my birthday.”

“Rocky road ice cream is the bomb.”

“That skier’s move was sick!”

“Doug won’t explain why he’s mad? Dude, that’s wack.”

• Online
crackberry: nickname for a BlackBerry, the addictive phone, e-mail device and general digital gadget.
google: to use a search engine, especially Google.
hit: a visit to a website.
webisode: a video short produced specifically for Internet viewing.
wikidemia: a term paper that was entirely researched on Wikipedia.org.

• Text Message Decoder
BFF: best friends forever.
IDK: I don’t know.
LOL: laughing out loud.
OMG: oh my God!
ROFL: rolling on the floor laughing.
TMI: too much information.

• Fashion
bling: sparkly jewelry, often gaudy.
tatted out: covered in tattoos.
tramp stamp: a tattoo on a woman’s lower back, designed for viewing between low-riding jeans and short T-shirts.
scooby doos: good shoes.
soul patch: a small tuft of beard under a male’s lower lip, usually with the rest of the face clean-shaven.

• Love
baby mama: the mother of one’s children, usually not a spouse.
boo: boyfriend or girlfriend.
cougar: an older woman who dates younger men.
cupcaking: engaging in a public display of affection.
flirtationship: a prolonged flirtation with an acquaintance, not involving physical contact.

• Friends
brodown: boys’ night out.
bromance: a close but nonsexual relationship between two men.
frenemy: a friend-enemy; someone close to you who often competes or hurts your feelings.
n00b: a newcomer, especially one to online gaming. Also noob, newb, newbie.
peeps: people; one’s closest friends or family.

• Music
crunk: a hip-hop genre.
disco nap: a short nap before a night out clubbing.
emo: softcore punk genre and its subculture of angsty teen fans.
mash up: To take elements of existing pieces of music, usually of different genres, and combine them in a new song; also the resulting song.

• Actions
check vitals: to monitor one’s e-mail, cell phone, voice mail and other electronics.
floss: to show off your wealth, often in a car.
friend: to add as a contact on a social networking website.
jump the shark: to have peaked and now be on a downward slide.
rock: to manifest greatness.
talk smack: to speak negatively or belittle a person, often in the heat of competition.

• Affirmations
fo’ shizzle: certainly.
obvi: obviously.
totes: totally.

• Descriptors
bomb, the: an ultimate favorite.
off the chain: the bomb.
ridonkulous: beyond ridiculous.
sick: extremely cool.
tight: fantastic.
wack: unjustifiable;.

• Britishisms
chav: derogatory term for a working-class youth.
nutter: crazy person.
snog: to kiss.
T5: disorganization, like the infamous new Terminal Five at Heathrow Airport.

• The End
badonkadonk: an attractive derriere.