By Rhonda Bodfield

Jun. 10, 2008 (McClatchy-Tribune Regional News delivered by Newstex) --

The day Stanley Garvin celebrates his mother's birthday, he also mourns the loss of his father to suicide.

It was six years ago in March that his father, who was 74, shot himself in the temple while his wife of 45 years was taking a shower in Garvin's childhood home in Oklahoma.

There was no note to help the family understand why. The elder Garvin, who had never been in a hospital in his life until a recent stomach surgery, wasn't recovering as quickly as he'd wanted. He had been depressed. It was a cold, dreary season. "What we thought was going to be a happy day turned out to be a sad day," said his son, a 48-year-old electronics engineer.

It's the tragedy of young lives snuffed prematurely that tends to capture collective hearts.

But people over the age of 65 are better at completing suicides than any other age group, with one in four attempts succeeding, compared with 1 in 20 for the general population, according to statistics from the U.S. Centers for Disease Control.

And it's now -- not at the holidays, as commonly believed -- that mental-health professionals see spikes in suicide attempts.

"We are in the midst of it right now," said Michael Barr, a training manager for the Southern Arizona Mental Health Corporation. "Springtime is the time of year when suicide just becomes a bigger issue."

Arizona seniors are particularly at risk, he said, given that 10 of the 11 states with the highest per-capita rates of suicide are out West. "We're rural. We have a lot of firearms. And we have a pull-yourself-up-by-the-bootstraps-and-just-snap-out-of-it mentality," he said.

The reasons that elderly populations are at greater risk aren't perhaps all that surprising. They face the loss of hearing and sight, the loss of the ability to get around, the loss of independence when someone has to relinquish the car keys. Spouses die. Retirees who move here might end up isolated, far from families and friends.

Barr said people tend to make three mistakes when dealing with older people who might be expressing suicidal tendencies. "We either miss it altogether, we dismiss it or we avoid it because we don't know what to do."

It's uncomfortable to bring up, he said, but it's better to get it in the open. "I'd rather have an embarrassing situation than not do anything about it and regret it later," he said.

The Pima Council on Aging is addressing the problem through three training workshops for a trio of audiences -- professionals who care for the elderly, more informal family caregivers, and the public at large. The agency is in its second year of offering the programs.

"It's coming out of the shadows," said agency spokeswoman Adina Wingate. "More and more people are beginning to talk about it because we're becoming more sensitive to the fact that suicidal ideation (ideas) among older adults is something that is happening every day."

Tyler Woods, facilitator for the local support group Survivors of Suicide, said as many as 40 percent of the survivors in her group have lost either an elderly spouse or parent. "That's pretty high," she said, adding older people often worry about placing financial or emotional burdens on their families as their health declines.

Her parents, married for 55 years, are approaching 80 and she's always vigilant to watch for red flags. She's fortunate that they live in town, so she makes time to take them to dinner or visit twice a week. She calls their friends at church to check in on them when she can't. She's in touch with their doctors.

"People who take their lives don't know that everybody left behind feels tremendous guilt and loss. It's the could've, should've, would've thing: I should have bought that bag of cookies for my neighbor who just lost his wife, or I shouldn't have gone to work that day and maybe this wouldn't have happened, or I could have spent more time."

Garvin's household still feels the loss, he most particularly when he goes back home, when there's a missing place at the table and when his mother does less cooking. His mother stays closer to home because his father used to drive since she couldn't drive at night.

In some strange way, his father's death brought his family closer together. "I speak more to my older brother than we used to. Maybe it just changed our attitudes about how short life is," he said.

Garvin found Survivors, initially hoping that meeting others and talking would help provide answers about why someone would take such an action.

Now, he goes so that when new arrivals show up, he might be able to help. "I can say, 'You may not know it, but I was here six years ago, asking the same things and wondering the same things.'"

And sometimes, there aren't answers.

"All you can do," he said, "is give people information and tell them there is a brighter way out of things, even though things may look gloomy and dim at the time."

Find resources

--Lost a loved one and looking for a support group? Get more information about Survivors of Suicide by calling facilitator Tyler Woods at 520-861-6632 or visit online at www.sostucson.org. Support groups are generally held the first and third Thursday of each month from 6:30 to 8 p.m. at Catalina Methodist Church, 2700 E. Speedway.

--Feeling like you might be in crisis? Call the Southern Arizona Mental Health Corporation's crisis line at 622-6000 or just walk in at 2502 N. Dodge Blvd., Suite 190. It's free.

--Interested in learning how to recognize risk signs and intervene appropriately? Training is provided by the Pima Council on Aging for those 15 years or older who interact with older adults on a regular basis, whether that be professionals or informal family caregivers. Costs vary, depending on the workshop. Call 790-7262.

--Contact reporter Rhonda Bodfield at 573-4118 or at rbodfield@azstarnet.com.

Newstex ID: KRTB-0014-25876307